Fear Of The Unknown, Or The Day Before My Surgery

hey there it’s David H Lawrence the 17th
and I am as we speak about 24 hours away
from undergoing arthroscopic surgery and
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little
fearful of what’s gonna happen just cuz
I don’t know what’s gonna happen and I
think human beings are pretty naturally
fearful of things they don’t know or
don’t understand
[Music]
I’m gonna have surgery on my left
shoulder I’m going to apparently what I
have is a tinge of arthritis I don’t
know what a tinge is it’s a very
clinical medical term I’m sure but I
also have a bone spur that is you know
digging into something and it’s gonna be
shaved down and I also have a partial
tear of a tendon which is going to be
repaired and it’s going to be done
arthroscopically which means they make
two holes on one side of my shoulder and
one hole on the opposite side and they
go in and you know as least invasive as
is humanly possible and they do all the
repairs and stuff they are gonna be
putting me under so general anesthesia
and I’m gonna have a pain pump for some
reason for the first day or so and
they’re gonna remove that after the next
day the good news is I have Betsy is
coming down from where she’s been
working for the past few months and
she’s sacrificing a week of contract
work to take care of me she’s gonna be
able to do some work from here but she’s
also going to be available to help me
and you know I tried to arrange for
in-home nursing care they said I won’t
need it I tried to get an idea of what
I’m gonna be able to take a shower after
the operation they said they don’t know
you know I wish I knew more about this I
do have a very vast medical knowledge
and I gained it all at the University of
Google and I got my advanced degree as
as a doctor from watching several years
worth of episodes of ER so you know I do
I know GSW and that’s not the Golden
State Warriors gunshot wound and a stat
I need that stat what I didn’t want to
do was break the string of these videos
so what I’m planning on doing between
now and tomorrow morning instead of
eating because I have to fast is making
at least a week’s worth of videos on
stuff that I have you know gathered and
assembled and wanted to do and have them
sort of be doled out over that week
until I can be back on camera with maybe
a sling who knows maybe a you know some
sort of crazy getup you know my shirt
cut so that I can you know I’m not
putting pressure on it but I don’t know
I don’t know I think that’s the the
point here is I don’t know I have a fear
of the unknown and I’ve never had major
surgery before I mean I had some minor
surgery when I was a kid and you know I
had a dog bite that I had repaired on my
lip but you know in both those cases it
wasn’t any big deal I mean it would it
you know it was big at the time but now
it’s no big deal and this will not be a
big deal when it gets done so I didn’t
want to break the string and so you may
see a few videos that are going to be
done all in a row rather than you know
on a daily basis and I’ll just let them
play out I’ll let them be released
that’s what I’m trying to say between
now and when I can actually start
shooting those videos again so I’m gonna
try to get at least a week’s worth seven
or so shot so forgive me if you see me
in the same shirt I could go change my
shirt every time but frankly my shoulder
hurts stupid so I hope you forgive me I
hope you are okay with that I still want
to keep the streak going it’s a
challenge that I don’t want to let
something as insignificant as our throw
scopic shoulder surgery to repair a
tendon and to shave down a bone spur
stop and part of that is the
responsibility that I feel to you and
the commitment that I made to both you
and to myself so if you have any
thoughts for me if you’ve been through
this before
or if you have any comments leave them
below this video if you’re on vo to go
go comm if you’re on youtube go over to
vo to go comm that’s where the
conversation is sane and lovely and
you know love to have you over there if
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subscribe to it by clicking on my face
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for you I’m David H Lawrence – 17 thank
you so much for watching and I’ll talk
to you tomorrow.