Motivation: Your Three Big Needs In A Cool Little Package

hey there it’s David H Lawrence the 17th
and have you ever wondered why sometimes
when you try to change a behavior or get
better at something or just make an
adjustment yeah it sticks it works you
know you’re able to do it and sometimes
it is a bear it’s just horrible well
researchers I’ve read recently have
found out that or determined I don’t
know they found it out they just serves
is a theory and I really like it I think
it’s really great
it’s called the self-determination
theory and what it talks about is why
we’re motivated to change things and
what makes those changes actually last
and it turns out that according to this
theory this self-determination theory
there are three things that we need to
make sure that what we attempt to do
what we attempt to adjust for the better
get rid of add etc requires these three
things and if we have these three things
well then everything’s awesome if we
don’t it’s a real struggle so the first
one is competence first one’s competence
and competence is this idea that we need
to experience mastery over our destiny
right so we need to know that we have
some say in what’s gonna happen in our
future and that we are competent enough
to do the things that we need to do and
not do the things that would stop our
future from being what we want it to be
and so competence is the first of the
three things really really really
important the second one is autonomy and
it’s kind of like competence but it’s a
little different so competence is
mastery of our destiny mastery of our
future even if we don’t really have
mastery of our future we need to feel
like we do so with autonomy we need to
know that we have a sense of control
over what we do specifics the you would
think this would be competence but it’s
actually the
anything that we are doing things well
and that we’re doing things that really
show who we are that we’re not being
somebody that we’re not that we are us
that we are who we want to be and that
autonomy really helps power the idea
that we’re on the right track yep we’re
doing what we’re doing and performers
who performers have this in spades
because they’re constantly saying things
like I’m different I’m an artist I
marched to a different drummer I’m Who I
am please accept me for who I am which
is great and then the third one is
relatedness and relatedness is kind of
connected to autonomy but in the reverse
we need to be ourselves we need to know
that we can do what we want to do and be
who we want to be but we don’t want to
be isolated from everybody else
so relatedness is the idea that we are
part of a bigger community that we are
part of the world that we are part of
the tribe and if we don’t have any one
of those three competence autonomy and
relatedness it makes it really hard for
us to be motivated to change something
to be motivated to do something and when
we do have all three it makes it so much
easier so competence sort of the control
feeling of the control of it and this is
the thing I’m gonna list all three of
them in just a second but this is the
thing we don’t even have to have them
actually we don’t actually have to have
competence we don’t actually have to
have autonomy we don’t actually have to
have relatedness we just need to feel
like we do so if we feel like we’re
competent and we feel like we have
control over us being ourselves and we
feel related to the rest of the larger
community it’s all it takes the mind
does crazy things doesn’t it so
competence
autonomy and relatedness this is all
part of what these researchers called
the self-determination theory and I
think it’s just great I think that if
you have all three of these if you can
generate the feelings of all three of
these you’re gonna be so much better off
I wonder if this hits home with you you
know when you started hearing me run
down that list where you like going oh
yeah yeah no let me know in the comments
below let me know if there’s something
you need to work on if there’s something
that when you heard this you’re like ah
that makes all kinds of sense yeah let
me know that let me know any questions
you might have in the comments below if
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will play it for you I’m David H
Lawrence the seventeenth I thank you so
much for watching and I will talk to you
tomorrow.